Lin: Sen Sen (Ed), I want to ask you something.
Sen Sen (me) is rushing around with photocopies of pointless crosswords in hand, cursing the broken printer, with four minutes until the start of class. Sen Sen can't remember in which room he's supposed to be teaching in four minutes, so really ought to have left the office already to begin a search of the six-storey building for a familiar face.
Me: Of course, Lin. What's up?
Anna will be in the office in two minutes to tell Lin that, of her 30 student class, only ten have turned up to learn the present perfect tense.
Me: Doesn't asking Anna's boyfriend what Anna wants to do sort of, well, undermine the point of Women's Day? [No response.] I can ask her. What does she have to do?
Lin: We will have a cycle ride and a show.
Me: How nice. I'll look forward to watching that. How far's the cycle ride?
Lin: Two times around the campus.
Me: About 6km then.
Lin: No.
Me: How far then?
Jamie: More than 5km.
Me: 7km?
Irene: Not that far.
Me:... And what's the show?
Lin: We will do a performance and wear beautiful clothes. You can be Na Na's partner!
Me: I don't think so, it's Women's Day. Ladies only. I'll watch this time.
At this point, I had to go and talk to myself about the simple past tense in front of some dazed students. Following that, and despite my protestations, more details came out. Monday's cycle ride was 6km, but wasn't a 'ride': it was a team sprint relay, trials for which were held last week, although Anna's ethnicity seemed to have granted her automatic qualification. The team came second, having lost a half-lap lead due to the final rider being "fat and slow". Go sisterhood!
Last night was the ladies' show, which did include me, Nick and Eben, which had erroneously been called a 'Fashion Show'. I was be politely asked to wear a heavily-decorated black jacket (judging by the cut, it's a woman's jacket, which fits Women's Day rather better than it fitted me) which if I hadn't already have given it back, I still wouldn't take any photos for fear of pictures losing me all my friends.
The ladies outfits ranged from would-be-quite-elegant-but-cheaply-made to I-have-no-words-to-describe-that, but all seemed to enjoy having their hair and make-up done, wearing different clothes and being made a fuss of, which I guess was the point.
As a special Women's Day gift, all the female staff were given a gift each: a set of cooking bowls. The irony has been totally lost.
X